Blood and Loyalty Read online

  And there he was, sliding over the edge, his face completely blank when he saw her. He shut his eyes briefly and then looked at her in mild amusement. “I thought we weren’t doing this anymore.”

  The sight of him warmed her, though that could be the lick of anger at his quip. She licked her lips and tried again. “Finn.” Her voice sounded hollow even to her own ears, and the effect it had on him was immediate.

  He quickly pushed himself further over the edge and reached down towards her, his fingers falling far short of hers. “You’re going to have to stand up. Can you do that?”

  Disa shook her head furiously. “I can’t,” she rasped.

  Finn held onto the ledge with one hand and tried to reach further towards her. “You have to, Disa.” She shook her head again and tried not to cry. “Disa, look at me. Keep your hands on the wall and stand up. I’ll have you in no time if you just stand up.”

  All the paranoid thoughts that had been creeping around her mind began to spill over. “If I stand up, it’s going to break like last time.”

  “No, it’s not. That was dirt, this is rock. Just stand up.”

  Disa dug one hand into the moss, the green falling in clumps around her, and slid up slowly, her other hand stretched up towards Finn. Her legs were shaking terribly from fear and cold and the cramped position they’d held for what felt like an eternity. Her fingers touched his and he grabbed onto her hard. It was the most amazing feeling. Disa shot her other hand up and he grasped that one as well, his hands gripping their way up her arms, pulling her until her feet were hanging beneath her. She could see the muscles in his arms tensing under her weight and she tried to hold onto him, too, grasping his arms and shoulders until she could clasp her fingers behind his neck. Once she did, he sat up, his arms around her middle, her belly scraping over the edge of the cliff before being pressed against his own.

  She was safe at last, the warmth of his body seeping into hers. Finn hadn’t let her go and instead pushed backwards with his feet, dragging them both away from even the hint of danger. “Are you ok?” he asked at last.

  “Yes. Are you ok?”

  Finn laughed. “Yes.”

  “There were people, a girl from my village, I think Bassi--”

  “They’re safe.”

  “How do you--”

  “I cut her ropes myself. They’re both safe.”

  “There may be men about still we should--”

  Finn squeezed her harder to him. “They’re gone.”

  “They could come back.”

  “They’re heading south.”

  “Then we should follow them.”

  “No,” he insisted, keeping her to him when she would pull away.

  “But--”

  “No.” He pulled back to look her in the eyes, his hands on either side of her face. “No. Fuck everyone else, Disa.” She stayed quiet, feeling for the first time how hard he was breathing. “I thought you were dead. So fuck everyone else right now.”

  Disa released her hands from behind his neck and ran them lightly down his shoulders. “I’m not dead.”

  “But I thought you were. I prayed you weren’t while I tried to think how big I should build your pyre.”

  “Finn…” He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to hers, the pressure pushing her head back slightly. “Finn,” she said again, softly. He opened his eyes and looked at her, his hands on her back again and Disa swallowed the heartbeat in her throat as she fought temptation.

  Just one more time.

  Disa leaned forward and kissed him, the contact warm and quick. She felt a blush spread across her chest at her boldness and made to pull away, but Finn caught her, tilting his head to take her mouth. Disa made a rough noise of relief as her fingers dug into his skin. She didn’t want to quit. Not yet.

  This kiss was different from the first, and Disa pulled herself closer to him as she tried to absorb everything at once but failed. She couldn’t hold on tight enough, couldn’t feel enough of his skin on hers, and every inch of her body demanded more: more lips, more hands, more pressure. She wrapped her legs tighter around his middle and squirmed closer. Finn groaned, one arm pulling her closer while the other hand gripped hard at her thigh, his effort to still her anxious movements contradicted almost immediately as his tongue flicked into her mouth. The chill she’d felt evaporated as fire raced down her body and settled between her legs.

  Disa gripped his tunic at the waist and tugged it upward, and Finn loosened his hold on her just enough to let it bunch up between them, his lips separating from hers just long enough to fling it over his head before he came crashing back into her, his hands roving from her face to her waist to her ass and back to her face, never staying anywhere long enough to be anything but frustrating. Disa bit his bottom lip as she ground her pelvis up and down his rapidly hardening length.

  Finn groaned again and pulled back from her, his hands on her waist keeping her firmly in place. His eyes flitted across her face as he struggled to control his breathing, his lips a hard line. He was going to stop. “Don’t,” Disa said suddenly, “Don’t think about it.”

  “Disa,” he said longingly. “It’s all I think about.” He brushed the hair from her face and ran his hand down her cheek. Disa nipped at his palm before planting a kiss on the same spot, unable to resist a lusty grin as she felt him twitch against her in response.

  “It’s all I think about, too.”

  Finn shook his head but she wasn’t sure if it was meant to be for her. “Almost from the second I saw you, sauntering around in your boy’s clothes.”

  “I don’t saunter,” she pouted.

  He leaned forward and kissed her protruding bottom lip, pulling away again before she could deepen it. “Yes, you do. You sauntered out and I thought ‘What wouldn’t I do to not deliver you to my brother. To just follow you until the end of the world.’ It would be enough, you know. Just to follow you.”

  “Not for me,” she whispered. Disa loosened the belt at her waist and set it to the side, her eyes never leaving his as she pushed her dress over her head, and Finn helped, the feel of his hands sliding with the fabric up her bare ribs almost more than she could stand. She tossed the garment away and Finn’s eyes strayed from hers. She thought she’d be embarrassed to be naked and close but she wasn’t.

  She pressed her fingernails deeper into his arms, her nipples hardening under his gaze. Finn’s arms wrapped around her once again and he bent his face to her chest, taking the tip of her breast between his teeth, his tongue passing over it with every maddening bite. Disa threw her head back and moaned, her hips beginning to rock again as he switched to her other breast, his hand replacing his mouth, his fingers pinching at her already sensitive flesh.

  Disa pulled his head up and kissed him hard, her tongue tasting the salt of his skin as she tried to untie his belt, but found herself too distracted to deal with knots. Finn dropped his hand between her legs, his thumb pressing hard at the crest of her folds as he rubbed it up and down slowly. Disa groaned in frustration as she tried to push herself against him faster, but he refused to go at her speed, pulling his hand back just long enough to make her crazy before touching her once again.

  “Finn,” she growled, and she felt him smile against her neck as he trailed kisses along her pulse. He was having too much fun with this. Disa pulled back enough to wrap her hand around the base of his cock, squeezing it lightly through the fabric, and made Finn freeze. Her fingertips flitted to the hem of his trousers and dipped inside just far enough to graze across the tip. He started to shiver then, his own movements becoming as erratic and grasping as hers had been moments ago.

  Finn untied his belt and lifted Disa off his lap and onto her back. She laughed as he pulled his trousers down quickly, helping him push them all the way off with her feet as he laid over her. He was grinning, too. He ran his fingers through her hair, looking at her in a way that made her own smile fall away, like she was keeping him alive.

  “Are you sure?”
he asked.

  Disa stared at him, his tanned skin glowing in the moonlight. It was so easy to be with him, to undress him, to have him undress her. It was easy to laugh, talk, and live with him. She trusted him in a way she’d never trusted anyone else in her life. It wasn’t just that she would have died that terrible night without him, it was a thousand little moments before and a thousand little moments after. He kept her safe and sane. Disa was too overwhelmed as she looked up at him. She didn’t trust herself to talk, but she knew he wouldn’t touch her unless she said something. Instead, Disa wrapped her hand around him once more and beckoned his hips forward until he rested just outside her swollen opening, rubbing the tip of his penis up and down the slick flesh. Finn squeezed his eyes shut and groaned and Disa giggled again, nervous energy and excitement bubbling over. He peeked his eyes open just wide enough to glare at her. She thought about apologizing but she wasn’t sorry. For any of it.

  They stayed pressed together, naked and quiet, and Disa brought her arms back around his neck. Just the heat of his body on hers was the most erotic thing she’d ever experienced, and Disa felt shy all of a sudden. She feared that youthful, unsatisfactory fumblings had left her too much a novice.

  Finn dropped his face to her neck, his nose trailing across her skin feather-light, a stark contrast to the occasional graze of his rough chin, his wet mouth. He dropped his hand between her legs again, his movements were slow and relaxed as if they had all the time in the world. His tongue wandered lower to her collarbone then lower to her breast. Disa pulled her knees up, her body starting to feel restless and alight under his steady attentions.

  “Finn,” she gasped at last, her nails raking down his skin as his teeth found her shoulder. “Please.” She was vaguely aware she was close to begging, but she didn’t care. She reached between them to guide him inside her as he pushed her knees up further. The moment had come. Finn looked down on her, his chest rising and falling rapidly, and Disa wondered if he could hear her pounding heart.

  Finn dropped his lips to hers and pushed inside her with one thrust. She moaned but he caught the sound in his mouth. He held still inside her, his body shaking, and Disa felt blissfully full. She dug her heels into his thighs and urged him deeper; it was Finn’s turn to moan. He began to move, slowly at first and gradually building speed. Disa was sure she was melting while Finn seemed like he was coiling tighter and tighter. His mouth dropped to hers, their tongues clashing, and every little thing was erotic: the feel of the rock beneath her, her bouncing breasts, Finn’s uneven breaths, her own wetness as he slid in and out.

  Finn tried to slow down, but Disa wouldn’t let him, urging him on faster, rocking beneath him when he tried to resist her urging. “Fuck,” he ground out, submitting to her will, the rapid sounds of their love making driving both of them further. Finn’s hand found its way back to her folds as he rubbed his thumb in rough circles. Disa cried out, groaning with every quickened thrust, her nails raking down his back or grasping at her own chest. “Fuck,” he repeated as he closed his eyes and turned his head, his hand becoming quick and desperate.

  Disa felt the pressure begin to build inside her and held her breath. She was close. She arched into his hand and her thighs tensed. Waves of pleasure crashed over her as she moaned Finn’s name. He let go then, his hands on her hips as he pounded into her.

  Disa opened her legs wider, her hands on his face, and Finn looked her in the eyes, finding his own release moments later. Warmth filled her and she felt for a moment like she could come again from the feeling. Finn collapsed on top of her, and Disa closed her eyes. She could stay like this forever.

  Disa woke with a shiver a few hours later, still naked and with no memory of falling asleep. She pulled her knees into her stomach and peeked an eye open, hoping her clothes were nearby.

  “Hi,” Finn said, the sound so close she felt his breath on her ear.

  Disa looked over her shoulder. He was awake and looked like he had been for some time, his head propped up on his hand, his body just behind hers. “Hi,” she returned as she covered her pleasantly sore breasts with her arms. “It’s dark still.”

  “It is.”

  Disa smiled at Finn as his eyes roamed over her face and he smiled back. They were both being tentative but Disa couldn’t help noticing his unabashed nudity. She bit her lip to keep from glancing down at what she knew would be lying across his thigh and instead smiled bigger.

  “Shut up,” he grinned as he reached for her, pulling her under his chin.

  “I didn’t say anything!” Disa protested while she inhaled the scent of his skin and burrowed into his soft throat.

  “You were thinking something.”

  “How do you know?”

  “You’re always thinking something.” He kissed the top of her head and ran his fingers up and down her spine.

  And just like that, Disa wasn’t so cold and Finn wasn’t so soft, and they quickly discovered a few new ways to keep warm.

  When morning finally arrived, Disa ached but in a good way. She stretched her arms and legs and carefully disentangled herself from Finn’s tightly wound arms. She’d thought she could bathe downstream before he woke but no such luck. Almost immediately he reached out, patting at the empty space where she used to be.

  “Hi.”

  Finn opened his eyes and sat up a little faster than necessary. “Hi.”

  Disa pulled her dress back over her head, the sun making her too aware of her body, and wished they could think of something more clever to say. Finn followed her lead, pulling on his clothes in silence beside her. “Where is my other shoe?” Disa was finally forced to ask after searching in vain.

  “Uhh…” Finn glanced around. “There.”

  She looked where he’d pointed and saw her leather boot wedged between two branches. “Oh, right.” Now she remembered.

  “Yeah.” Finn grinned as she blushed furiously and snatched it down. “I’m going to rinse this,” he said, holding up his soiled shirt. “If you wanted to…”

  “Ok.”

  Disa followed behind him as he looked for a deeper spot in the stream and tried to resist dropping her head into her hands. They had both been bold in the night but so far it wasn’t following them into the day. They each kept their eyes studiously down as she slipped into the water to wash, her dress trailing behind her. The water was warmer than she expected. Disa ducked her head under and relished the sensation, already feeling cleaner and clear headed. And safe. Always safe. She didn’t need a bath for that, though. Just Finn.

  Each of them were quiet in their own thoughts, and long after Disa had set her dress flat on a warm boulder to dry, Finn was still scrubbing his shirt on the rocks. She was pretty sure he’d wear hole in it before too long.

  “Finn--”

  “There’s something you should know,” he interrupted. Finn was looking at her finally, and Disa swam closer to him, fighting the urge to smooth his worried forehead.

  “What?”

  “He told me he loved you.” Disa stared at him as she struggled to follow his troublesome thoughts. “My brother. He told me he loved you. You laughed the first time I told you, but it’s the truth. And I know you said you didn’t kiss him—“

  “I didn’t.”

  “I know, I believe you. I just...I thought you should know. What he felt. What he said he felt.” He cringed and looked down again.

  Disa’s chest ached as she watched the guilt tense his body. Her beautiful, strong, upstanding Shadow. “I don’t love him.” It wasn’t what she’d meant to say, what she wanted to say. Coward, she scolded herself.

  Finn nodded and threw his shirt to the side. “I’m going to make sure we didn’t leave anything behind.”

  “Let’s find them.” Finn stopped, his back still to her. “Let’s just find them and ask them--tell them…” Disa didn’t know what they’d tell them. “We’ll find them and we’ll figure everything out, ok?” Disa watched as he stood above her, the voice in her head screaming
for him to say he’d already figured it out, that he loved her, too, and responsibilities be damned, he wanted her. Not her brother’s allegiance or good standing in the north, but her.

  Finn nodded once sharply and walked back towards the cliff.

  Disa let out a groan of frustration. These last few weeks had been some of the worst and most violent in her life, but at the same time, they’d also been some of the best. What was wrong with her? So many people had died and here she was falling in love. With her intended’s brother. No wonder he couldn’t look at her.

  What is wrong with me?

  Disa heard the splash and lifted her head from her hands just in time to see Finn crashing through the water towards her, his gaze steely and determined. She didn’t have time to react before he’d picked her up, crushing her body against his, and kissed her soundly. Disa could feel the hot tears threatening to spill over, but she didn’t care. She clung to him, her bare breasts tightening against his chest, and matched his intensity with her own.

  And wasn’t that just like him? Her Great Shadow. Always unexpected. Always there exactly when she needed him, trying to make everything better without uttering a word.

  His boots were making the most ridiculous squish sound with every step he took. In hindsight, he should have taken off his boots before he jumped into the water. Maybe his pants, too. But all he could think as he walked away from her this morning was how much he wanted to be doing quite the opposite.

  And so he did the opposite.

  He couldn’t tell her he loved her, not yet. So he’d tromped into the river and tried to tell her in a language they both seemed quite adept at. He sighed to himself and hacked at the brush, reaching behind him to lead Disa through the narrow pathway he’d made, or to be more accurate, inventing the hundredth excuse that day to touch her, to take her hand, to look back at her. He kept hold of her a few moments longer than necessary and decided it was probably for the best he’d stayed clothed. He had less willpower than he might have guessed.

  Images of the night before kept flashing through his mind: Disa alive, Disa kissing him, Disa pulling off her dress. He’d sworn to himself he’d just kiss her that once at Helga’s, but when she’d kissed him last night, he couldn’t let her stop - not while his hands were still shaking from the terror and relief of finding her trapped on that ledge.